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THERE................a manhole cover, i ..i..think, oh god.....i cant reach the ladder..............uugh, uugh..cant...........reach, OH GOD HERE THEY COME LLOYDS......Oh God Im scared.
LLOYDS shines torch down tunnel - Oh my god, what are those things.

Mutated clones Lloyd.......we were conducting an experiment..........in cloning..we took skin samples from some anal polyps removed from Tony Blair in 2005....and....and we cultured them........i dont think anyone knew quite what the results would be but we kept going.......and they grew, they grew at an alarming rate , faster than anyone expected.......we eventually had to contain them in cages as they grew, i mean......the experiment it was a success we bred new life forms from the anal polyps...........but no-one could forsee how aggressive these things would be, so we locked them in cages and continued to monitor their growth.......
LLOYDS - but why? why would you create such monstrosities?
We just did what we were told........we had our orders.......create a new Labour party leader.....one who could take over the mantle of PrimeMinister...............how were we to know it would go SO WRONG.........the clones were...completely irrational, aggressive........we should never have used polyp samples, we knew the possible danger......rampant growth and mutation

LLOYDS - But you went ahead anyway?
I HAD MY ORDERS DAMN YOU...........we thought we could train them ...you know, control their urge to take things over, but we were wrong.....so wrong........out of ten clones taken only two survived...... The first one...... GORDON X1 was particularly aggressive and vociferous...he persuaded clone 2...DARLING/2.....to kill the other clones and ....all we found were a handful of pubes and blood stains...........they had eaten them...absorbed them if you will.
LLOYDS - absorbed?
...Yes...by the nature of the source material....they are genetically pre-disposed to take over and absorb whatever they come into contact with....but we thought we could control and train the urge..........
LLOYDS - YOU FOOLS, DIDNT YOU REALISE WHAT YOU WERE DOING, THE DANGER YOU'VE PUT US ALL IN
Im....sorry.......so sorry
LLOYD - WELL IT'S A BIT BLOODY LATE FOR THAT DONT YOU THINK

At this point the audio became garbled and confused with lots of screaming and an eerie roaring noises, the last audible speech on tape 1 was thought to say " God forgive me for i knew not what i created "